Potentially Dangerous Things You Have Said To Your Spouse/Partner

[rhines81]

I am lucky that my wife still has a good sense of humor considering that her first husband was physically and mentally abusive. She has no fears from me and knows that I like to poke fun that is sometimes off-color, but good-natured.
Tonight, I busted my shin on the dishwasher door in the kitchen that she left wide open - not the 1st time. After I was done cursing a few choice words, I asked her why she always left the door open and she replied, "To remind me to empty it".
Without hesitation, I responded back, "Maybe I should leave my fly open more often". We both laughed about it and nobody was hurt - except for my shin.

 

[davidb1841]

Marry Me

 

[BlueKilla]

^^^this guy knows whats up!

 

[Apparition]

“It ain’t gonna suck itself”

 

[Jrod250]

Marry Me

Damn. I was gonna say “I do “. Lol
Before my wife an I got married, I had saved enough money to purchase a new Porsche Cayman S. She talked me into using it to pay for our wedding and she said “don’t worry, we will get it back”

well during our wedding reception, I got caught telling people that I’d still be enjoying my Porsche 6 months from now.
apparently that was not the time or place. Lol

 

[fordguy74656]

What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block?​

“A beaver dam.”

 

[Rackattack]

Beware and on alert for these words…

 

[Loshad]

"I could drive your truck."

"Sure you could, when I have a stroke."

 

[Rock Taxi]

Nope. Not gonna play. All mistakes stay buried.

Ed

 

[OldCowboy]

"Yes dear, that dress does make your butt look big..."

 

[BlueKilla]

After three days of labor... "Should've pushed harder"

 

[BroncoHooves]

 

[Warpath]

My wife says I don't listen to her.....
or something like that..

 

[Flat-12]

Your twin sister is still hot.....

 

[Rockshot]

Oh man. I've said some/done f*cked up shit lol. I'd say it here but im pretty sure it's illegal in a few countries and is generally frowned upon.

Here's good one. "If you buy that bike I'm going to leave you," she said. I said......

Suck it!

 

[perfor8]

I've found that occasionally a woman benefits from a man's firm, "calm down!"

 

[Apparition]

I've found that occasionally a woman benefits from a man's firm, "calm down!"

If I want to piss her off all I need to say is "Relax"

 

[MoKan]

"I can fix that" or "I can build that"

My father in law is a great guy, but he is not handy or skilled with tools. She never saw him do more than mow the grass, everything else was hired out, so her expectations of what a husband should do around the house were low.

After opening that can of worms, she now asks: "Hey babe, can you do this?", and her project becomes my project. Funny how my projects seem to stay only my projects.

 

[VB!]

"Whatever you want dear."

 

[fordguy74656]

"This lasagna is good -- but you should get my mom's recipe."​