mine downshifted to redline a couple times when towing 10k-11k, it seemed to happen when I pressed the brake pedal farther down and also more sharply. It suprised me and like you, I did not like the rpm's up near redline. my solution was to just drop the gears down manually and be easy on the brake pedal, staying in tow/haul mode. I would also give the brakes a jab when I wanted the transmission to drop a couple gears ( so I wasnt mr. brake happy.)
maybe easing onto the brakes more may keep from the aggresive downshifts, I'd assume that stomping on the brakes with any weight trailer in tow/haul mode would take it up to redline?